A Pervert

My math teacher asked, 'What is 2 + 2?' I said, '4, or your face if you keep staring at me.'

I looked up 'rain' and it said, 'A natural phenomenon where you get wet and feel sexy.'

My mom said, 'I made soup.' I said, 'That's not soup. That's your love language.'

'Table' is now 'a place where you sit and flirt.'

I looked up 'cloud' and it was 'a fluffy thing that looks like a naked man.'

My friend said, 'I like pie.' I said, 'You're not just liking pie. You're craving it like it's your soul.'

'I like coffee.' 'That’s not coffee. That’s your daily seduction.'

I said, 'I like cats.' He said, 'You like cats. Or you just like the way they purr.'

I said, 'I like books.' He said, 'You like books. Or you just like the way they feel in your hands.'

I said, 'I like pizza.' He said, 'That's not pizza. That's your love language.'

I said, 'I like dogs.' He said, 'You like dogs. Or you just like their tongues.'

I said, 'I like music.' He said, 'You like music. Or you just like the way it makes your heart beat.'

'I like chocolate.' 'That’s not chocolate. That’s your new addiction.'

I said, 'I like movies.' He said, 'You like movies. Or you just like the way they make your heart race.'

I said, 'I like ice cream.' He said, 'That’s not ice cream. That’s your new love language.'

I said, 'I like apples.' He said, 'That’s not apples. That’s your new obsession.'

I said, 'I like the beach.' He said, 'You like the beach. Or you just like the way the sun feels on your skin.'

I said, 'I like music.' He said, 'You like music. Or you just like the way it makes your heart beat.'

I said, 'I like coffee.' He said, 'That’s not coffee. That’s your daily seduction.'

I said, 'I like dogs.' He said, 'You like dogs. Or you just like their tongues.'

I said, 'I like the moon.' He said, 'You like the moon. Or you just like the way it shines on your face.'