A Pervert
A pervert is someone who believes every word in the dictionary has a hidden dirty meaning.
'Table' is now 'a place where you sit and flirt.'
I looked up 'cloud' and it was 'a fluffy thing that looks like a naked man.'
My friend said, 'I like pie.' I said, 'You're not just liking pie. You're craving it like it's your soul.'