facebookphobia

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3 views · Added 3d ago · 6 definitions

1
Facebookphobia is when you can’t stand Facebook. You think it’s the worst thing ever. It’s like having a bunch of annoying friends who won’t stop bragging and telling you everything, even when they don’t care about you.
My ex just posted a photo of her new dog and wrote, 'My life is perfect now.' I want to throw my phone out the window.
My cousin added me just to post 20 selfies a day. It’s like a horror movie.
My mom comments on every post. She’s like a golden retriever with a keyboard.
2
Facebookphobia is when Facebook feels like your worst enemy. It’s like your friends are all telling you their lives, but they don’t even remember you exist. You feel like you’re in a group chat you never wanted to join.
My friend posted, 'I’m rich now! I’m living my best life!' I’m still paying rent.
My ex-boyfriend changed his name to 'Mr. Perfect' and posted a photo of his cat in a Lamborghini.
My uncle posted 15 photos of his breakfast. I don’t even know what a breakfast is anymore.
3
Facebookphobia is when you feel like Facebook is trying to take over your life. It’s like your friends are all on a reality show and you’re the audience who can’t leave.
My mom sent me a message: 'Your brother’s birthday is today! Don’t forget!' He’s 12. I’m 30. I live in a different country.
My friend posted, 'I got a promotion! Now I’m rich!' I got a job. I’m poor.
My cousin posted a video of her cat dancing. I don’t know why it’s important, but I have to watch it 10 times.
4
Facebookphobia is when Facebook feels like a broken heart. You think your friends are fake, they’re just there to show off, and you’re stuck with all their life updates like you’re stuck in a bad relationship.
My ex posted, 'I’m happy now!' and tagged my new boyfriend. I want to punch her.
My friend posted, 'I’m getting married!' and I’m still single. I feel like I just lost a war.
My mom posted, 'My dog is the best dog in the world!' I’m just trying to survive the day.
5
Facebookphobia is when you think Facebook is the worst invention since the ice cream cone. You’re tired of seeing your friends’ lives when you’re just trying to survive your own.
My friend posted, 'I’m on vacation!' and I’m stuck at work. I feel like I’m being tortured.
My ex sent me a message: 'I’m happy now!' I’m still sad. I’m still single.
My cousin posted 20 photos of her breakfast and called it a 'foodie journey.' I don’t even know what that means.
6
Facebookphobia is when you feel like Facebook is your nemesis. It’s like all your friends are posting their lives, and you’re just trying to survive your own.
My mom posted, 'My dog is the best dog in the world!' I just want to scream.
My friend posted, 'I’m rich now!' and I’m still paying rent.
My ex posted, 'I’m happy now!' and I’m still sad.
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