Paladip

3 views · Added 6d ago · 5 definitions

A paladin who thinks they're a god but can't heal their own damn self. Usually ret paladins who think the word 'buff' means 'fart'.

I tried to heal myself and got a buff. What the hell is that?!

My paladin is a god, but he can't even survive a goblin.

I cast a spell and it failed. I'm a god, not a moron.

A paladin who thinks they're a warrior but can't even hit a target. They're like a blind man with a sword and a prayer.

I swung my sword and missed. I'm a paladin, not a ghost!

I prayed to the light, and it didn't help me hit anything.

I attacked a goblin and it laughed at me.

A paladin who thinks they're a priest but can't even cast a spell. They're like a drunk man trying to read a book.

I tried to cast a spell and just got a headache. What's wrong with me?!

I drank a potion and it made me sleepy. I'm a paladin, not a zombie!

I tried to heal my friend and made him sicker.

A paladin who thinks they're a knight but can't even stand up. They're like a baby in armor with a sword.

I tried to fight and fell over. I'm a knight, not a baby!

I wore armor and it made me sleepy. I'm a paladin, not a turtle.

I tried to swing my sword and it dropped on the floor.

A paladin who thinks they're a hero but can't even do anything right. They're like a confused chicken in a battle.

I tried to be a hero and got hit by a goblin. I'm a chicken, not a man!

I ran into battle and got scared. I'm a hero, not a coward!

I tried to fight and just ran away. I'm a paladin, not a coward.