painter's key
A chunk of cheap metal that looks like it was kicked by a donkey. You stick it in a paint can and hope it doesn’t break. If it does, you’re out of luck and probably out of paint.
My painter’s key broke and I had to use my finger. It was a disaster.
I tried to open the can with my key and it just cried like a baby.
That thing is so weak, it should be called a ‘painter’s cry.’