Painted Grenade

4 views · Added 6d ago · 6 definitions

A woman who looks like a f***ed-up sock but still tries to make men believe she's hot.

She wore enough makeup to cover a murder, but still tried to flirt with my dad.

My cousin dated one. She had a face like a brick and a body like a shopping bag.

That lady at the bar looked like a raccoon got into her makeup kit.

A woman who looks like she was hit by a paintball grenade and still thinks she's the main character.

She had pink lipstick on her nose and called me 'honey' like I was her long-lost love.

My mom’s friend is one. She wears so much makeup it looks like a war zone.

She showed up to my party with glitter on her forehead and called me 'darling'.

A woman who looks like she got dipped in glitter and then ran into a paintball fight.

She showed up to my birthday with a face that looked like it was dipped in glitter and then shot at.

My neighbor is one. She wears so much makeup it looks like she’s trying to hide a crime.

That girl at the mall had a face like a sidewalk and still called me 'love'.

A woman who looks like a f***ed-up cake and still thinks she's the star of the show.

She showed up to my concert with a face that looked like a cake exploded and hit her.

My aunt is one. She wears so much makeup it looks like she’s trying to cover up a murder.

That lady at the coffee shop had a face like a cake and still called me 'sweetheart'.

A woman who looks like she got into a fight with a glitter bomb and still thinks she’s hot.

She showed up to my dinner with glitter on her eyelids and called me 'honey' like I was her long-lost love.

My cousin dated one. She had glitter on her face and called me 'darling' like I was her best friend.

That lady at the bar had glitter on her face and still tried to flirt with my dad.

A woman who looks like she was hit by a paintball grenade and still thinks she’s the main character.

She showed up to my party with glitter on her face and called me 'love' like I was her soulmate.

My neighbor is one. She has a face like a war zone and still tries to flirt with my dad.

That lady at the mall looked like she was hit by a paintball grenade and still called me 'darling'.