Painkiller drunk

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When you take way too many painkillers and act like you’re wasted, even though you’re just high on your own dumbass.

I took six Advils and now I’m screaming at my dog because he won’t stop barking.

I tried to dance to the radio and fell off the couch. It was glorious.

I told my mom I was going to space. She said, 'You’re just going to bed.'

You chug painkillers like they’re liquor and then you act like you’re at a party, even though you’re just confused and in pain.

I took my painkillers with a soda and now I think my fridge is talking to me.

I tried to text my friend and sent 100 emojis. He called me ‘the emoji monster.’

I told my brother I was going to be a superhero. He said, 'You’re just going to sleep.'

You take so many painkillers you’re basically drunk, but you still manage to annoy everyone around you.

I took my painkillers and now I’m arguing with my cat about the best cereal.

I tried to cook and set the kitchen on fire. It was a good fire.

I told my dad I was going to be a king. He said, 'You’re just going to bed.'

You’re so high on painkillers you think you’re a rockstar, but you’re just barely holding on to your sanity.

I took my painkillers and started singing in the shower. My neighbors called the cops.

I tried to do a karate chop on my brother and missed. He laughed.

I told my teacher I was going to be a rockstar. She said, 'You’re just going to sleep.'

You’re so wasted on painkillers you think you’re in a movie, but you’re just falling asleep on the couch.

I took my painkillers and started acting like I was in a movie. My dog was the only one watching.

I tried to do a dramatic exit and tripped over the rug. It was majestic.

I told my friend I was going to be a movie star. He said, 'You’re just going to bed.'

You’re so blasted on painkillers you think you’re a wizard, but you’re just confused and in pain.

I took my painkillers and started talking to my plants. They didn’t respond.

I tried to cast a spell and turned my brother into a chicken. He was confused.

I told my mom I was a wizard. She said, 'You’re just going to bed.'