Pain Magnet
This person is like a walking disaster. They get hurt no matter what. They’re so unlucky it’s almost criminal. But if you mess with them, they’ll make you regret it.
I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. Then I fell into a puddle. Then a dog peed on me.
They got hit by a falling ceiling fan. Then the lights went out. Then the internet died.
They tried to juggle three balls. One hit them in the face. The other went into their mouth.