Pain Magnet

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#unlucky#disaster#walking_birthday_cake

4 views · Added 7d ago · 6 definitions

1
This person is like a walking disaster. They get hurt no matter what. They’re so unlucky it’s almost criminal. But if you mess with them, they’ll make you regret it.
I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. Then I fell into a puddle. Then a dog peed on me.
They got hit by a falling ceiling fan. Then the lights went out. Then the internet died.
They tried to juggle three balls. One hit them in the face. The other went into their mouth.
by Slangipedia 7d ago
2
They're a pain magnet. They can't escape misery. But if you make them mad, they'll turn you into a human punching bag.
They got bit by a spider. Then the spider bit their friend. Then they got in a fight with the spider.
They stepped on a banana peel. Then the floor got wet. Then they slipped into a trash can.
They tried to walk past a wall. The wall moved. The wall hit them. The wall laughed.
by Slangipedia 7d ago
3
This person is cursed. They get hurt no matter where they go. But if you make them angry, you're asking for a world of hurt.
They tried to open a door. The door slammed in their face. Then it locked them inside.
They sat on a chair. The chair broke. Then the floor caved in.
They waved at a bird. The bird pecked them. Then the bird screamed at them.
by Slangipedia 7d ago
4
They’re a walking punchline. They’re always getting hurt. If you mess with them, you're gonna get the punchline too.
They tried to walk across a bridge. The bridge collapsed. Then they fell into a river.
They tried to eat a taco. The taco bit them. Then the taco ran away.
They tried to say hello to a robot. The robot hugged them. Then it squeezed them like a juicer.
by Slangipedia 7d ago
5
This person is always getting smacked by life. They can't escape it. And if you pick a fight, you'll be the one getting smacked.
They walked into a room. The ceiling fell. Then the floor broke. Then the walls ran away.
They opened a gift. It exploded. Then it chased them down the street.
They tried to play hide and seek. The hiding spot ran away. Then it bit them.
by Slangipedia 7d ago
6
They get hurt like it’s their full-time job. They can’t escape the pain. But if you make them mad, you're gonna get the full-time job.
They walked into a store. The shelves fell. Then the cashiers started fighting.
They tried to sit down. The chair exploded. Then the floor tried to eat them.
They said goodbye to a friend. The friend cried. Then the friend screamed at them.
by Slangipedia 7d ago
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