Paid By the Pound
You poop at work. Then you figure out how much you made during the time you pooped. Divide that by how much your dump weighed. You get paid like a human toilet.
I pooped while working. Got paid by the weight of my dump. I’m a poop lord.
Pooped at work. Got paid by the pound. My boss said I was a shitting genius.
I took a dump during work. Got paid by the weight of my crap. I’m a legend.