pageant dad

2 views · Added 9h ago · 3 definitions

a dad who thinks he's the king of the world because he helps his daughter fake a smile for a job interview or college tryout he also buys her clothes that make her look like a raccoon with glitter and slaps her cheeks so hard it feels like a wrestling match

i bought her a dress that says 'i'm a unicorn' and it's 100% polyester

i slapped her cheeks so hard she got a nosebleed during the interview

i told her to say 'i'm a genius' even though she failed algebra

by Slangipedia 9h ago

a dad who thinks he's the most important person at the pageant because he makes his daughter practice answers to questions like 'what's your dream job' and 'what do you like to do for fun' he also buys her clothes that look like they were stolen from a disco in the 80s

i told her to say 'i want to be a CEO' even though she can't spell it

i bought her a shirt that says 'i'm fabulous' and it smells like cheap perfume

i made her practice answers until she started crying

by Slangipedia 9h ago

a dad who thinks he's a professional makeup artist because he does things like pinch your cheeks to 'give you some rouge' and buys you clothes that look like they were bought from a garage sale at 3 a. m. he also thinks he's the best interviewer ever even though he once asked a kid 'what's your favorite color of toilet paper'

i bought her a dress that looks like it was worn by a ghost

i made her say 'i like pink toilet paper' during the interview

i pinch her cheeks so hard it looks like she got into a fight with a bag of chips

by Slangipedia 9h ago