Paddy's Drunk - When you're so wasted at Paddy's that you think the bar is a

When you're so wasted at Paddy's that you think the bar is a spaceship and you're the captain.

I told the bartender he was the alien and I was the hero.

I tried to command the jukebox to 'blaster mode' and it played 'Yakety Yak.'

I asked my friend if he was my crew and he said 'no, you’re the one who spilled the beer.'