O.M.F.I.C.
An old, grumpy, foul-mouthed person who is in charge of everything and everyone. They don't take no for an answer, and they don't care if they're 70.
My neighbor said, 'I'm the O. M. F. I. C. of this block.' I said, 'You're just old and loud.'
At the grocery store, the guy behind the counter said, 'I'm the O. M. F. I. C. here.' I said, 'You're not even 70 yet.'
My mom called me and said, 'Your dad is the O. M. F. I. C. of the whole neighborhood.' I said, 'He's just mean.'