O'klaharo
A guy with Irish roots who somehow ended up in Oklahoma and got weird. He wears random stuff, like a hat that says "I Survived the 2012 Walmart Sale." He laughs like a girl who just got a tattoo. He shops way too much, especially at Express. People think he's confused, but he just thinks he's cool.
DM: "I spent $150 at Express. I don't know why."
Tweet: "O'klaharo at the mall. He looked like he just escaped a jail break."
Text: "He told me he's not gay, but he's definitely into baby wetzys."