Ocular insemination
You give your lover a big mess in the face and then stick it in their eye like you're trying to make them your prisoner.
He gave me a slap and a full face of ketchup. Now I'm the queen.
She hit me with a cup of soup and then stuck it in my eye. I'm not mad. I'm just full.
I threw my lunch at him. Now he's crying and I'm the best lover ever.