objectophile
A dumb senator from Ohio who thinks inanimate objects are his soulmates. He’s got a thing for sofas and throw pillows. It’s like he’s in a bad romance movie.
I got engaged to my chair. It was just a bit of fabric and legs, but it was magical.
My uncle proposed to his vacuum. It didn’t care, but it was still cool.
My friend married a throw pillow. It was just a bit of fluff, but it was love.