objectophile

1 views · Added 11h ago · 4 definitions

A person who gets super turned on by stuff like chairs, lamps, or even a stupid toaster. They’re like the freaks who have sex with inanimate objects and call it a relationship.

I proposed to my blender. It said yes, but it was just a bit of noise.

My neighbor has a love affair with a streetlamp. It’s creepy.

My cousin married a lamp. The lamp didn’t care.

by Slangipedia 11h ago

Someone who gets a hard-on from buildings, statues, or any object that doesn’t breathe. They might even try to make out with a statue.

I had sex with the Empire State Building. It was a bit of a stretch.

My friend tried to flirt with a statue. It didn’t work.

I asked my fridge out on a date. It said no, but it was still hot.

by Slangipedia 11h ago

A person who thinks objects are the bomb and gets all worked up over them. Some even get married to them, like a dumbass who married the ocean.

I married my toilet. It’s the best decision I ever made.

My cousin got engaged to a street sign. It’s just a piece of metal, but it’s got heart.

I proposed to my couch. It said yes, but it was just a bit of fluff.

by Slangipedia 11h ago

A dumb senator from Ohio who thinks inanimate objects are his soulmates. He’s got a thing for sofas and throw pillows. It’s like he’s in a bad romance movie.

I got engaged to my chair. It was just a bit of fabric and legs, but it was magical.

My uncle proposed to his vacuum. It didn’t care, but it was still cool.

My friend married a throw pillow. It was just a bit of fluff, but it was love.

by Slangipedia 11h ago