obesoid
An obesoid is someone so bloated they could float away. They look like a human who got hit by a truck and then ate a cake.
My uncle is an obesoid. He can’t walk without wheezing like a broken balloon.
The obesoid at the mall blocked the entire escalator. He had to take the stairs.
I told my mom I was an obesoid, and she said, 'You’re not that bad.' I said, 'You’re just jealous.'