macgyverwipe
When you’re about to finish a big dump and then you see no toilet paper and you have to use whatever you can find, even if it’s a half-eaten sandwich.
I was about to leave the bathroom and saw no TP. I used my lunch. It was a cheese sandwich. My pants stank for days.
I had to wipe with a tissue. It was the only one left. I felt like I had to pay for the tissue.
I used my shirt. It was white. Now it’s stained and I look like a raccoon.