macaroni monster
A big, lazy guy who wears a football uniform and thinks he's a superhero. He eats like a pig, sweats like a hot dog, and moves like a fat man who just got out of a dumpster.
My cousin played football and called himself a macaroni monster. He ate 10 hot dogs before the game and couldn't run 20 yards.
My neighbor's kid tried out for the team. He looked like a sausage link with a helmet on.
My uncle wears a football uniform to the grocery store and yells, 'I'm a macaroni monster!' at the checkout.