M9
The M9 is a piece of junk. It’s like the gun version of a broken toaster. It’s more deadly when you throw it at someone than when you fire it.
My M9 fell apart after one shot. I threw it at my enemy and it killed them.
I tried to fire my M9, and it just exploded. I threw it at my friend and it worked.
M9: 'I’m broken.' Me: 'I’m throwing you at my enemy.'