Lahey Scale
How f***ed up you are from 1 to 10. Jim Lahey once tried to drink a whole lake and got arrested.
I'm at a 10. I can't walk, I can't talk, and I just tried to eat a sock.
At a 6. I can still talk, but I’m talking to my dog and calling it a philosopher.
I'm at a 4. I can walk, but I walked into a trash can and didn’t care.