LadyMachine
A Guatemalan goddess who can do everything at once, work, study, dance, eat, and still have enough energy to give you a wedgie and call you a loser.
My neighbor’s a LadyMachine. She works full-time, does her hair, and still finds time to tell me I’m ugly every day.
At the party, the LadyMachine arrived, drank three shots, danced like a robot, and then asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend. I said no. She said, 'You’ll wish you did.'
I tried to ask my LadyMachine out. She said, 'I’m busy. I have to study, cook, and probably beat your dad at chess.' I gave up.