Lady Suede
The fuzzy crap that grows on a woman's face like a bad beard. It's everywhere, chin, cheeks, and lips, like she's been eating a whole pie.
My mom’s lady suede is so thick, she looks like a raccoon with a skincare budget.
I asked her if she was growing a mustache, and she said it was just lady suede.
She tried to shave it off, and now her face looks like a cheese grater.