Lady Suede

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#face hair#racoon#cheese grater

4 views · Added 8d ago · 6 definitions

1
The fuzzy crap that grows on a woman's face like a bad beard. It's everywhere, chin, cheeks, and lips, like she's been eating a whole pie.
My mom’s lady suede is so thick, she looks like a raccoon with a skincare budget.
I asked her if she was growing a mustache, and she said it was just lady suede.
She tried to shave it off, and now her face looks like a cheese grater.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
2
The fluff that covers a woman's face like she’s been dipped in a pillow. It's the reason men whisper about her in the grocery store.
My aunt’s lady suede is so bad, the barista asked if she was a pillow.
She tried to trim it, and now her face looks like a muffin top.
He stared at her in the grocery line, like he saw a ghost.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
3
The fuzzy stuff on a woman's face that makes her look like a cat that's been using your face as a litter box. It's gross, and it's everywhere.
She had lady suede so bad, I thought she was a cat with a skincare routine.
He said she looked like a raccoon who got a facial.
She tried to hide it with makeup, but it came through like a beard.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
4
The fluff that grows on a woman’s face like she’s been eating a whole cake. It's the reason men run away from her in the hallway.
My cousin’s lady suede is so thick, it looked like a cake on her face.
He saw her in the hallway and ran like she was a monster.
She tried to wax it, and now her face looks like a burnt cake.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
5
The soft, fuzzy crap that covers a woman’s face like she’s been sleeping on a carpet. It's the reason men can’t look her in the eye.
She had lady suede so bad, she looked like she slept on a carpet.
He couldn’t look her in the eye, it was that bad.
She tried to shave it, and now her face looks like a carpet.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
6
The fuzzy stuff that covers a woman’s face like she’s been covered in cotton candy. It's the reason men scream when they see her.
She had lady suede so bad, she looked like a cotton candy machine exploded on her face.
He screamed when he saw her, it was that bad.
She tried to trim it, and now her face looks like a cotton candy bar.
by Slangipedia 8d ago
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