Ladder of Noobism
The noob chain of command is when a newb acts like they’ve been playing for years, even though they just opened the game.
Newb: 'I’ve been playing for years!' Me: 'You’ve been playing for five minutes.'
Newb: 'I know all the moves!' Me: 'You know one move and it’s wrong.'
Newb: 'I’m the best player here!' Me: 'You’re the worst player here.'