lactoperoxidase
A bald, milk-smeared mess who lives in a broken-down flat and talks to the ceiling like it’s a friend. They’re always covered in cheese and don’t brush their teeth.
I told the ceiling I’m getting a divorce, and it said, ‘Finally.’
I eat cheese for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s how I stay rich.
I don’t know why I’m still alive. I guess the ceiling does.