Lackadickitis
A made-up sickness where a person is stuck without a guy's junk for too long. They might start sweating like a pig, flirting with anything that moves, jerking off, watching dirty videos, or using gadgets to keep their craving for a man's junk at bay until they find someone worth the wait.
DM: 'I haven't seen a dick in weeks. I'm sweating and I'm watching porn on my phone like it's my job.'
Text: 'I'm at the mall. I'm eyeing every guy like they're my next meal.'
Tweet: 'My Lackadickitis is getting out of hand. I just bought a vibe.'