Kaisermiser
To take a dump on a roll and pretend it's the most precious thing you've ever had. Then you watch someone beg for it and laugh as they cough up your hair.
He Kaisermisered me with a roll and told me I swallowed his brain.
I Kaisermisered my friend with a bagel and said he ate my balls.
She Kaisermisered me with a donut and told me I swallowed her farts.