Kabalarian
A Kabalarian is someone who thinks your name is magic and can make you rich, healthy, and happy, if you pay them enough money.
I’m a Kabalarian. My name is Gary. I’m not rich. I’m not happy. I’m just Gary.
My name is Linda. I’m a Kabalarian. I have no idea why I’m Linda.
My name is Kevin. I paid $100 to fix it. Now I’m Kevin, and I’m still broke.