Kabalarian

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4 views · Added 11d ago · 3 definitions

Kabalarian is a stupid fake religion started by some guy named Alfred J. Parker who thinks your name can control your life. It’s not even related to Kabala, which is way cooler.

My name is Bob, but I’m supposed to be a genius. I’m not. I’m just a bob.

Alfred J. Parker must be a lunatic. My name is Karen and I’m fine.

I paid $50 for a name report. My name is Steve. I’m still broke.

by Slangipedia 11d ago

A Kabalarian is someone who thinks your name is magic and can make you rich, healthy, and happy, if you pay them enough money.

I’m a Kabalarian. My name is Gary. I’m not rich. I’m not happy. I’m just Gary.

My name is Linda. I’m a Kabalarian. I have no idea why I’m Linda.

My name is Kevin. I paid $100 to fix it. Now I’m Kevin, and I’m still broke.

by Slangipedia 11d ago

Kabalarian Philosophy is the world’s tiniest cult, started by a guy who thought math and names could fix everything. He was wrong, but he still charges people money for it.

I signed up for Kabalarian Philosophy. My name is Mark. I’m still Mark. I’m still broke.

Alfred J. Parker is a fraud. I paid him $200 for a name report. My name is Sue. I’m still Sue.

They’ve got over 750,000 names on their website. My name is not one of them. I’m not special.

by Slangipedia 11d ago