Jackowitz
A last name that smells like bagels and bad decisions. If you have it, you're probably Jewish, hot, and always up to no good. Keep them close or they'll steal your lunch money.
My cousin Jackowitz ate my entire sandwich and called it a business deal.
Jackowitz showed up to my birthday party with a bagel and a death threat.
Jackowitz is the only person who can out-swear my dad.