Jack Kerouac

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A Jack Kerouac is when you cum like a madman while reading On the Road. It’s like the book turned you into a human fire hose.

I read one page and my pants were soaked. My dog looked at me like I was a monster.

My mom walked in and asked if I was dying. I said no. I was just being a Jack Kerouac.

I tried to read it in the library. The librarian gave me a look like I had just stolen her lunch money.

Jack Kerouac is when you’re so turned on by a book that you start jacking off in a public library. You don’t care if people see you.

I was doing it in the middle of the library. A kid asked me if I was okay. I said I was just being a Jack Kerouac.

I got caught by the librarian. She said I was making the book blush.

I did it in front of my teacher. She gave me a D for being too much.

A Jack Kerouac is like a holy man who jacks off while reading a book. It’s sacred. It’s legendary. It’s gross.

I did it on the bus. The driver looked at me like I was a weirdo.

I did it in the park. A squirrel watched me like I was doing something important.

I did it in my room. My brother walked in and asked if I was dying. I said no. I was just being a Jack Kerouac.