Jack Hay
Abandoning your buddy for a lover like they’re a rusty bike and you’re getting a brand new scooter.
He left me for a girl who can sing. I still cry when I hear a song.
She ditched me for a guy who has a pet parrot. I still hate parrots because of that.
They broke up for a new person who can cook. I still burn my toast every time I try to make it.