J-Hag
A grumpy Jewish woman who's so mad at life she could punch a menorah. She sounds like a tired old man and acts like she's been rejected by every bagel in Brooklyn. She's out to make your life a living hell just for fun.
'I dated a guy who was bald and looked like a chicken. I still haven't forgiven him.'
'I tried to get a date on JDate, and the guy turned out to be my brother. I now hate all men.'
'I would have married a pig if it had a beard and a degree in math.'