I'm gonna kick my dog - A joke you tell yourself when you're too lazy to do anything

A joke you tell yourself when you're too lazy to do anything real. You're just trying to avoid actual work.

I'm gonna kick my dog because I don't feel like getting up from my couch.

I'm gonna kick my dog because I'm too tired to do my homework.

I'm gonna kick my dog because I just ate a whole pizza and I'm too full to move.