I was Born on a Tuesday - A way of saying you're about to explain your life in so much

A way of saying you're about to explain your life in so much detail it might as well be a textbook.

I was born on a Tuesday. That means I've been around long enough to know your problems are not new.

I was born on a Tuesday. I've had time to figure out your lies.

I was born on a Tuesday. I'm not just telling you my story. I'm telling you your story.