I need him biblically.

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When you want to treat someone like a holy god, but also want to punch them in the face and lick their sweaty feet at the same time.

I need him biblically. He’s like Jesus, but with a six-pack and a temper.

I need him biblically. I’d read the whole Bible if it meant I could touch him.

I need him biblically. I’d worship him, then eat his lunch.

When you want to kiss someone’s ring, then throw it in the toilet and pee on it.

I need him biblically. I’d follow him to the ends of the Earth, then burn his books.

I need him biblically. I’d pray for him, then steal his snacks.

I need him biblically. I’d build an altar, then throw a tantrum.

When you’re so in love with someone, you’d write their name in the sky, then draw a mustache on it.

I need him biblically. I’d paint him on the ceiling, then take a selfie with a glitter bomb.

I need him biblically. I’d write his name in the clouds, then laugh at him.

I need him biblically. I’d make a shrine, then throw a pizza at it.

When you want to marry someone, then immediately cheat on them with their cousin and eat their leftovers.

I need him biblically. I’d propose, then immediately text his sister.

I need him biblically. I’d get down on one knee, then run away with his dog.

I need him biblically. I’d wear a wedding ring, then throw it at him.

When you want to pray for someone, then punch them in the gut and take their last soda.

I need him biblically. I’d pray for him, then steal his chips.

I need him biblically. I’d light a candle, then throw it at him.

I need him biblically. I’d write a hymn, then eat his sandwich.