I haz a sad - A fake, over-the-top sob-fest about something small, like yo

A fake, over-the-top sob-fest about something small, like you're the main character in a sad movie and everyone else is just background noise.

I got a C on my test. I cried and threw my notebook at the wall.

My pet goldfish died. I cried and didn’t eat lunch.

My friend said I was annoying. I cried and hid under my bed.