I Have No Neck

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A phrase yelled by a man who’s too fat to have a neck and also too proud to admit it.

'I have no neck!' he roared, after his son asked why he kept eating pizza for breakfast.

'I have no neck!' he said, while trying to fit into a shirt two sizes too small.

'I have no neck!' he shouted, as his wife walked in and saw his face for the first time in weeks.

A man who looks like a beach ball with a face, and he’s not even embarrassed about it.

'I have no neck!' he told his daughter, who was crying because he ate her lunch.

'I have no neck!' he said, as he tried to tie his shoes without bending over.

'I have no neck!' he yelled at the mirror, which was now laughing at him.

A man who’s so used to being fat, he doesn’t even know what a neck is anymore.

'I have no neck!' he told his son, who was trying to explain how to do push-ups.

'I have no neck!' he said, while eating a whole cake for breakfast.

'I have no neck!' he yelled, as his wife walked out of the room and didn’t look back.

A man who looks like a sack of potatoes, and he’s not even trying to hide it.

'I have no neck!' he told his mom, who had just asked him to stop eating ice cream.

'I have no neck!' he said, as he tried to wear a collar and it fell off.

'I have no neck!' he yelled, as he tried to do a headstand and it looked like a disaster.

A man who’s so fat, his face is basically attached to his chest, and he’s happy about it.

'I have no neck!' he told his brother, who was trying to explain what a neck is.

'I have no neck!' he said, after his wife gave him a look that said, 'I’ve seen things.'

'I have no neck!' he yelled, while trying to eat a whole pizza with his hands.

A man who’s so fat, he doesn’t even know what a neck is, and he doesn’t care.

'I have no neck!' he told his friend, who was trying to help him lose weight.

'I have no neck!' he said, as he tried to walk into a room and got stuck in the doorway.

'I have no neck!' he yelled, as he tried to lift his arms and it looked like a wrestling match.