i dont masturbate
a phrase used by the kind of kid who gets a boner when they see a chicken but denies it to their face
He said he doesn't masturbate. Then he started blushing when I mentioned his chicken drawing.
She told me she doesn't masturbate. Then she texted me a picture of her chicken wearing a hat.
He said he doesn't masturbate. Then he ran out of the room like he saw his mom in a chicken costume.