I bought an Urban Dictionary Mug!

I bought an Urban Dictionary Mug! It’s got ‘I eat glitter for breakfast’ on it. I don’t even eat food anymore.

My coworker got one with ‘I’m not lazy, I’m just energy efficient.’ I called him a lying sack of dirt.

My mom got a mug that says ‘I’m not fat, I’m just delicious.’ I told her I’m not delicious, I’m just hungry.

I bought an Urban Dictionary Mug! It says ‘I’m not fat, I’m just a snack.’ I asked if I was a snack or a side dish.

My dog got a mug that says ‘I’m not a dog, I’m a highly trained human.’ I told him I’m not trained, I’m just confused.

My brother got one that says ‘I don’t have a problem with you, I have a problem with your personality.’ I told him I have a problem with his attitude.

I bought an Urban Dictionary Mug! It says ‘I’m not lazy, I’m just in a state of relaxation.’ I told it to get up and move.

My sister got one that says ‘I’m not fat, I’m just a snack for the world.’ I said the world needs more snacks, not more snacks for her.

My dad got a mug that says ‘I’m not old, I’m just well-seasoned.’ I told him he’s just well-cursed.

I bought an Urban Dictionary Mug! It says ‘I’m not a failure, I’m just a work in progress.’ I said I’m a work in progress and I’m still not done being bad.

My friend got one that says ‘I don’t have a problem with you, I have a problem with your personality.’ I said I have a problem with his problems.

My neighbor got a mug that says ‘I’m not loud, I’m just expressing myself.’ I told him he’s just annoying.

I bought an Urban Dictionary Mug! It says ‘I’m not a failure, I’m just a work in progress.’ I said I’m a work in progress and I’m still not done being weak.

My coworker got one that says ‘I’m not fat, I’m just a snack for the world.’ I told him the world can take a snack break.

My mom got a mug that says ‘I’m not old, I’m just well-seasoned.’ I told her she’s just well-annoyed.