I am [Elvis] - I am Elvis is when you’re so fat you sweat like a sauna and

I am Elvis is when you’re so fat you sweat like a sauna and you don’t even know why. You’re like a walking wet towel with a bad hair day.

I walked into a room and the air got thicker. I am Elvis.

My dog looked at me like I was a mystery meat. I am Elvis.

I tried to wear pants and they exploded. I am Elvis.