I am a heterosexual

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A lie you tell when you’re too drunk to remember your own face.

I am a heterosexual. I swear I am. I just don’t remember why I married a man.

I am a heterosexual. I think. I might have said that after three shots and a broken heart.

I am a heterosexual. I said it to my ex. He laughed. I cried. I still don’t know why.

A statement that only makes sense if you’re lying to yourself and everyone else.

I am a heterosexual. I’m not. I’m just pretending I’m not. I’m not even sure who I am anymore.

I am a heterosexual. I said it in front of my whole family. They didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe me.

I am a heterosexual. That’s what I told my therapist. She didn’t charge me for that one.

Something you say when you’re too tired to think and too lazy to care.

I am a heterosexual. I said it at 2 a. m. I didn’t even know what I was saying.

I am a heterosexual. I said it to my best friend. He didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe myself.

I am a heterosexual. I said it after a long day. I didn’t even remember I was lying.