hairy turnculs
A guy who treats his phone like it’s his girlfriend and beats up a monkey just to get it to grow up.
I attached my phone to my wrist and ran around like a lunatic for 2 hours. The mankey didn’t even look at me.
I punched the mankey so hard it turned into a primeape. I’m a legend now.
I was so obsessed with evolving that I forgot to eat. I now have a belly button.