Hairy egg - A huge mess of poop and hair, like your grandpa after he ate

A huge mess of poop and hair, like your grandpa after he ate a whole pie and cried.

My mom’s hairy egg is so bad, it made the cat run away.

I saw a hairy egg in the park and it looked like it was going to explode.

Your hairy egg is so big, it could be a new planet.