Hairy Bean
A chill, shaggy, hippie guy who eats beans, wears Birkenstocks, and thinks patchouli oil is a type of pizza. He’s got a soft spot for Vermont and hates the man with the passion of a thousand f***ed-up college kids.
He showed up to my concert in a patchwork shirt and called me 'dude.' I didn’t know what to do.
He told me he was a registered Democrat, and I asked if he was also a registered idiot.
He drove a Jetta, wore Birkenstocks, and still managed to smell like a patchouli pizza.