Hair Coach - Tells you what's wrong with your hair like it's your ex, and

Tells you what's wrong with your hair like it's your ex, and won't let you leave until you promise to come back for more.

'You're not coming back until you've had two more sessions. I know you.'

'Your hair is crying. You're not helping it.'

'You think you're done? I've seen people with more willpower than you.'