Haggy Parasite
A dude with a tiny cock, a gut like a sofa, and a sweat level that could ruin a gym. He plays Call of Duty all day like it’s his job. He talks way too much and thinks E-Girls are into him because of his bad selfies. Real talk: He’s just a walking invitation for a flogging.
Tweet: "I just killed 10 enemies with my AK. I’m a beast.", 2 minutes later: he dies to a turtle.
DM: "I’m a god. You should marry me.", sent to 4 E-Girls at once.
Selfie: "I’m not fat. I’m just a legend.", 2 likes, 1 flogging invitation.