He walked into the restaurant and said, 'I'm here for the haggis.' The waiter said, 'That's for the haggis humper.' He said, 'Then bring it.'

He tried to flirt with my sister. She said, 'I'm not your type.' He said, 'Your type is haggis.'

He took one bite of the haggis and said, 'This is the best thing I've ever eaten.' Then he threw it at a kid.